Sunday, April 10, 2016

WeWriWa: The Well Placed Scene Break


Since we were talking action and brotherly love last week, I’m continuing with one of my favorite devices from my shape-shifter W-I-P, PRINCE OF HONOR – the well placed scene break that says it all so I don’t have to. Sometimes, imagining what goes on between the lines is more fun than having to read them.

“I’ll be right out here,” Sylvia promised. 

When he looked back, she’d closed the door between them. Row stiffened, sensing her moving farther and farther away from him. When he reached for the door in alarm, a gesture from Cale put his king’s hulking bodyguard between him and it. 

“What’s going on, Cale?” 

“Remember I’m your brother and your king, and that Bull can rip your arms and legs off without breaking a sweat. There’s something I need to tell you and I want your promise you’ll hear me out before you react. Then, if you want to hit me, Bull won’t stop you.”

Cale sat on the made up couch holding a frozen Limearita can to one throbbing eye while the other tracked Turow’s travels back and forth across the living space. 

It had taken some doing to get Bull to wait in the hall, leaving him alone with his possibly fratricidal brother.

So . . . Did you need it spelled out or did that dramatic break give you the chance to picture it yourself?

Now for the recap to bridge the gap between action/reaction. Word count at almost 78K! Full steam ahead!

How’s your weekend going?

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Share an 8 to 10 sentence snippet of your writing on Sunday. Visit other participants on the list and read, critique, and comment on their 8sunday posts.

Spread the word, share the love, warriors - Hashtag #8sunday.

28 comments:

  1. Unfortunately, the scene break didn't come through. I assume it was supposed to be just before "Cale sat on the made up couch"? If so, yes, it let me figure out what might've happened.

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    1. You're an early bird, Ed. Unfortunately, you read the post before the correction was put up. Sorry!

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  2. That would have been my guess, too. At any rate, you can say more in between the lines than most authors say in 10,000 words. Love the frozen Limerita on the shiner, BTW. Great visual. Pun intended.

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    1. Geez, I wish I had time to do those 10K words so insinuation has a job to do.

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  3. Foolish thing to do, telling your angry brother that he can hit you. The scene break worked for me - I've no doubt what Turow did once he'd listened!

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    1. At least he was smart enough not to give a carte blanche! Thanks, Peter!

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  4. Interesting and I enjoy seeing how you think in your writing. I started a new story and have been laying the groundwork for it for the last month. I wrote the first two scenes but am holding back now to look at them for whether they work and how to bring on the next one. Sometimes I can write a lot of words at one time and just keep going but that opening scene, I like to take some time on that one. I am changing genres for this one; so that complicates it.

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    1. Thanks, Rain! I agree. The first paragraph and the last are the hardest and most important, giving the first and the lasting impression of the book. Especially when you're reaching out to a new audience. Best of luck (and take your time to get it right!!)

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  5. I think the scene break worked perfectly. The following scene was set up very well, and the Limerata can was a nice touch, though I'm sure Cale would think otherwise! :)

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    1. Oh, yeah, he definitely does! Thanks, Evelyn!

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  6. Wow. Loved the Limerata, and the use of fratricidal. I had to say it out loud. That word doesn't get near enough usage! Well played scene!

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  7. I really liked this sense. The tension was made very visual!

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    1. Thanks, Madeline. Then my job is done (at least in this scene!)

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  8. Scene break worked for me! Enjoyable excerpt, even though Cale got belted :-)

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    1. Thanks, Marcia! (He usually deserves it!)

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  9. I really liked the snippet, though the first part of the scene break was my favourite. That last paragraph was awesome. :D

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  10. Less is definitely more in this instance Nancy. Very well done.

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    1. Thanks, Kim! I wish that applied to my lunch, too!

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  11. Less is definitely more in this instance Nancy. Very well done.

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  12. Well obviously something deep and meaningful happened there in the scene break. Excellent excerpt, leaves me wondering and intrigued.

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    1. Don't worry. I won't leave you hanging. Thanks, Jean!

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  13. As this is the first time I have read your story it is a little hard to understand what is happening, especially as SF is not my genre, but your writing is strong. Whatever it was that was said in the pause between the scenes, was sufficient to earn Cale a black eye. Good work.

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  14. Scene break worked for me...guess he still wanted to, after all. ;-)

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  15. Leave the scene early and start a scene late. You used those techniques extremely well here!

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  16. Just wonderful the way you used the words.

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  17. Kim said it so well. Less is more. :-) Nicely played, Nancy!

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