Sunday, July 3, 2016

WeWriWa: It’s All in the Hook


I just got word back from my first BETA reader! She gave PRINCE OF HONOR a big Thumbs Up (along with some very insightful suggestions addressing a couple of my closet concerns). My other BETA is still reading, so while I wait, I’m pondering over my prologue. Those first few paragraphs and pages determine whether your book goes “home” with a reader, and while I love the scene (which was actually deleted from my last book for the sake of word count), it didn’t do the job the way I wanted it to. Then an AhhhHAAA! moment struck . . . More on that after my 8-10 for this week’s excerpt from PRINCE OF HONOR.


“Syl.” 

Turow was the only one, other than Cale, who shortened her name that way. Before, it had always annoyed her, his familiarity stripping away the distance she preferred to keep between herself and others. Now, that rumbled intimacy did the opposite, drawing her closer, where outside influence held no sway. 

“Syl, let me protect you. I swear, on my life, no one will ever harm you.” 

She touched his face, his bold, beast face, reveling in the strength she’d always known dwelt within him. She touched his mouth, first with her fingertips, feeling the fierce cut of his teeth beneath the yielding softness of his lips, then with her own, slowly, prudently, until his tongue touched and mated with hers. A fierce vibration shook through him, harsh, hungry. Oh, he was exciting, barely restrained, dangerous and hers to control . . . if she could . . . but of course she could.


No, this isn’t the scene (though I do love it!). Since the next book in the Foursome begins with a brief look into the hero’s childhood, I recalled an earlier excerpt from PoH (take a peek!) that got a big response from my WeWriWa pals. Wouldn’t the entire scene make the perfect lead-in to soften the reader toward a previously hateful heroine? Just a glimpse that there was more to her than a selfish agenda? Boom! I think I’ve set my hook!

Off to cut and paste . . .

Just a reminder, if you’re looking for some fireworks for this Fourth of July . . . PARANORMAL ATTRACTIONS (my first boxed set!) is still just $0.99 (FREE with Kindle Unlimited!). Here’s what readers have to say: “A steamy smorgasbord of PNR Heroes/Heroines!”, “A Super Steal!”, “Something for everyone and some new twists and ideas”, “A captivating collection”, and my favorite, “The best $0.99 I’ve ever blown!” Sizzle! Boom! Enjoy!



AMAZON


Happy Holiday and Happy Writing to all my firecracker WeWri Warriors!


Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Share an 8 to 10 sentence snippet of your writing on Sunday. Visit other participants on the list and read, critique, and comment on their 8sunday posts.

Spread the word, share the love, warriors - Hashtag #8sunday.

28 comments:

  1. What a sensual kiss! Though I doubt she'll be able to control him. ;)

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    1. Somehow . . . I doubt it, too! Thanks, Jessica!!

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  2. That was really sweet! Great scene!
    Thanks for sharing that one!

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  3. I think control is going out the window any moment now LOL. Enjoyed the snippet!

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  4. A great moment of vulnerability for her. Isn't it interesting how the beginning sometimes reveals itself long after you first hoped it would?

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    1. Thanks, Christina! The first page and the last, always the hardest and the most important!

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  5. It's a different kind of kiss, that's for sure.

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  6. Hot blooded love! She brings out the beast in him!

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  7. It's amazing how the way you feel about the things people do can change as the way you feel about them changes--just like his use of a nickname for her.

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  8. Yup– that kiss ensures that there will be no control to be had. ;)

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  9. I can't help but agree with Amy. After a kiss like that, I think any control is an illusion.

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  10. I can't help but agree with Amy. After a kiss like that, I think any control is an illusion.

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  11. Your excerpts always leave me wishing they didn't stop at ten!

    I'm hooked. I just bought the box set. Thanks for the heads up. :-)

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    1. Thanks, Teresa . . . for the thought and the sale! Happy reading!

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  12. Control is Not the operative word here. ;)

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  13. Love that your beta reader went all out to not only be encouraging but a big help with some suggestions. That's great.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Patricia

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    1. I'm lucky to have awesome readers who look for totally different things.

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